


Hollywood Love Affair

by jwdish98



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bonding Over Comic Books, Craigslist, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Overprotective Louis, Overprotective Niall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 20:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7329088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jwdish98/pseuds/jwdish98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam really just needs a date for the annual New Year's Eve party he attends. And, well, if something more happens to come from it then it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, would it?</p><p>Now, if only he could stop constantly embarrassing himself, things might be going better.</p><p>Or, Liam is desperate, Louis is a concerned friend, Harry is just trying to be hip, Niall is entirely unhelpful, and Zayn is (according to Louis) Liam's possibly axe-wielding murderer fake-boyfriend. That Liam may or may not have a massive crush on.</p><p>(Yeah. Yikes.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hollywood Love Affair

**Author's Note:**

  * For [operatingroom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/operatingroom/gifts).



> operatingroom!! <33
> 
> Okay, first of all, I would like to apologize for taking a year and forever to post this fic. (So, so sorry!) Your prompts were all so awesome and I was super excited to delve into writing Ziam for the first time. I'm the ultimate sucker for fake/pretend relationships, though, so I couldn't help but go with this one. Happy reading, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Secondly, I'd also like to throw out a quick thank you to my brother for beta reading this for me. You're a pal.

“You know,” Louis draped himself across the back of the couch, limbs flailing a bit, just to read over Liam’s shoulder. Even though Liam couldn’t see him, he still knew exactly what look was on his face right now, “I’m just going to go on record now and say that I think this might be one of your shittiest ideas yet, Payno.”

Liam snorted. “Right,” he agreed blandly. “You usually encourage my worst ideas, though. What’s so wrong with this one?”

He turned a bit, arching an eyebrow at Louis, only to be met with actual concern on his friend’s face which-- well, that wasn’t necessarily uncommon, but it didn’t happen all that much. Louis could be soft when he wanted to be, of course, but, generally, he was abrasive and out loud, usually coming off as almost uncaring of what other people thought and felt.

(Unless said person happened to be Harry, of course, and then all Louis thought about was how you felt, but that was a different matter altogether.)

“What if the guy who responds is a total creep? What if he tries to rob you or steal your identity? You never know, Liam. These things can happen.”

Liam snickered, pressing a button on his phone to turn the screen off as he turned to stare at Louis. Generally, he was the responsible one, so it was rather amusing to have Louis lecturing him and attempting to be responsible.

“You’re being an idiot,” Liam offered, grabbing the pillow closest to him and chucking it at Louis. “It’s just a Craigslist ad, Lou.”

“A Craigslist ad to find a _boyfriend_ ,” Louis corrected, his expression just daring Liam to try and argue with him.

Liam had been friends with Louis long enough that he wasn’t about to back down from a challenge like that, so he just rolled his eyes. Louis looked especially unimpressed by that, so Liam just sighed and said, “A Craigslist ad to find a _fake_ boyfriend for a week, Louis. Come on.”

“It's not a good idea, Li.” Louis pursed his lips, shoulders lifting in a shrug. “You haven't been with anyone since Sophia and I know how much that whole thing upset you. Are you... Are you really sure you want to do this now?”

Well, even if Louis was being a stubborn shit at the moment, he meant well, so Liam didn't necessarily mind too much. It was annoying, yes, but the reminder that Louis was always there to look after him was rather heart-warming.

Liam sighed, turning on the couch so he was properly facing Louis, curled in on himself. “It’s not like I’m going to try and date them, Louis. It’s a fake relationship to convince people that I’m not still devastated by a breakup that happened a year and a half ago.”

“But-” Louis shifted, his nose scrunching up. He looked concerned again, and Liam was about to protest again when Louis moved so he was resting his head against Liam’s, curled around him, effectively cutting off any of Liam’s protesting. “It’s okay if you are still devastated by it, you know. Like... It’s okay to be upset about things. Even a while later.”

“I know.” Liam pursed his lip, curling a bit into Louis. “It's just... It's been a bit, and Sophia and whoever she's dating now are going to be at this party and I just... I don't want to look like I’m alone and still hoping for something, you know? Because I’m not.” Louis made a doubtful hum in the back of his throat, and Liam rolled his eyes. “I’m not hoping for something with her, Louis.”

The thing about Louis, though, a thing that Liam found endearing most of the time and annoying as fuck right now, was that he cared far too much.

“I’m just--” Louis sighed, resting his head on Liam’s shoulder. “Are you sure?”

Liam was just annoyed by now, even if he knew that Louis meant well. Of course, he was more than thankful to Louis for his intense care for Liam’s well-being, but Liam had already committed to this, so it was kind of just a pain in the ass, now. Liam huffed out a frustrated noise and said, “I’m sure. Please, Lou. Just let me do this. I promise everything will be just fine.”

They stared at each other what felt like an eternity, and Liam was almost positive that Louis was going to try and argue with him again when, finally, his best friend just sighed, shoulder sagging a bit, and it felt like a fucking victory.

“Alright,” Louis finally agreed, his nose wrinkling. “Just... Just let me read the fucking ad and make sure you didn’t spell something wrong, yeah? We don’t want to make a bad impression on your future fake boyfriend.”

“Shut up,” Liam said. He shoved the iPad at Louis, not unkindly, but also as forcefully as he could manage. Louis spluttered, but accepted the device anyways.

And, okay, it wasn’t like Liam was nervous or anything. Really. It wasn’t as if he needed Louis’s opinion on the advertisement and he certainly hadn’t needed him to approve of it or anything. It was just that... Well, Liam really liked to get Louis’s approval whenever he could. It showed that Louis cared, and that meant more to Liam than he could ever probably describe, even if he always ended up annoyed during conversations like this one.

“Looks good to me,” Louis said blandly. “Although, you might want to take out the part about ‘my annoying asshole friends will probably be nosy as fuck and ask lots of questions’. It might scare some people off. Maybe.”

“I'd rather scare them off before they apply instead of them being scared off when you find a way to do a background check on them and Harry makes them eat the next weird thing he cooks and you both try to intimidate the shit out of them over dinner,” Liam said, wrinkling his nose. He loved his friends, fuck, they were amazing, but they were also kind of insane, and he knew there was just no way he could ever deny that.

Louis sighed, slumping back against the couch and rolling his eyes dramatically. “Fine. _Fine._ Just don’t come crying to me if they’re an axe murderer and they kill you and dump your body somewhere creepy.”

Liam coughed, rolling his eyes at Louis. “Um, Lou. If I’m dead I wouldn’t be able to cry to you at all.” Louis shot him a doubtful look and Liam took it upon himself to point out, “I’d be dead.”

The look on Louis’s face just screamed _I hate you_ , and Liam couldn’t help but press a laugh into the palm of his hand, hoping that it was muffled enough that Louis wouldn’t protest.

“Okay, asshole,” Louis huffed. “I won't even cry at your funeral if you're going to act like this.”

Liam reached over and ruffled Louis’s hair playfully. He did it mostly just to see the disgruntled look on Louis’s face, but also because he couldn’t help himself. Louis cared about him. A lot, apparently. A lot more than Liam ever would have thought when they’d first met.

So he simply said, “You know you would though,” just to see the scowl on Louis’s face. It only deterred his friend for a moment, though, before Louis spoke up again, the last traces of a scowl visible on the lines of his face. Liam didn’t complain, however, simply relaxed back into his chair and closed his computer.

Listening to Louis pout and ramble wasn’t a bad way to spend his day, necessarily.

_. . ._

Okay so, in all honesty, Liam had kind of forgotten about the ad.

Really, it had been two texts from Harry three days later that had read: _Louis told me about the ad_ closely followed by _Liam wyd_ (because, yes, Harry was that friend that thought adding text abbreviations to everything made him cool and hip, and none of them had the heart to tell him that it really didn’t) that had reminded Liam that of its existence.

So, of course, he’d gone to check on it. Really, though, what he hadn’t expected was to see that he had a response from someone. Liam had more of expected an empty inbox and him giving into a newfound sense of desperation about this stupid ass party and having a date for it.

But instead, there was a notification, the topic line of _Date Ad Response?_ bold and glaring up at him from his computer screen. It was the only email in the inbox- Louis had made him set up a new email specifically for the ad because he was ridiculous and paranoid and he _cared_ \- and Liam’s stomach twisted up with nerves that he could barely fight through.

Liam spent too long staring at the email before clicking hesitantly on the response.

The response was about two paragraphs, in which the man who’d emailed him stated something about needing an excuse to get out of going to a new year’s party with a friend he wanted to distance himself from, and agreeing that he was more than happy to play Liam’s boyfriend for the entire expanse of the party and- well, really, that was all Liam needed.

(Well, he also needed the guy not to be an axe murderer or whatever, mostly because he didn’t want to die but also partially because he wanted to prove Louis wrong.)

He quickly flicked his eyes down to the sender, wrinkling his nose at the email. Whoever this zmalik93 was seemed to have fairly good intentions, and he seemed to be of fairly sound mind (at least, as far as Liam could tell from the two paragraph response). He seemed rather unassuming and easy going, so Liam tapped at the reply button, sending a short reply suggesting that they schedule a time to meet.

And he was going to make sure that this all went _perfectly_.

Just to prove Louis wrong.

His desire to give Louis a what for was truly the reason he found himself sitting in the middle of a cafe a few days later, foot tapping impatiently against the oddly mismatched tiling. It probably wasn’t a good thing that proving Louis wrong continued to be a significant motivator for him, but at the same time, Liam supposed it couldn’t be helped. Besides, Liam knew, regardless of what Louis said, that he couldn’t keep showing up to the annual New Year’s party by himself. It was boring and embarrassing, especially considering the fact that Sophia and Danielle were both there every year.

Not that that was a bad thing, necessarily. Neither of his breakups had been... bad. Still, it felt a bit embarrassing to see his exes bringing dates every year while he went by himself and clung to Louis and Harry all pathetically like they were his lifeline.

Third wheel was really not a good look on anyone, and Liam had found himself in the role far too often over the past few years.

The bell that was tied to the door of the cafe rung, and Liam glanced up, eyes widening a bit as he stared at the man who had walked in because holy shit, he was gorgeous. Flushing, he turned to stare at his mug of coffee and picked at his bowl of fruit as the internal voice that was his mother chided _it’s rude to stare at people, Liam James_.

A soft cough closely followed by a mumbled, “Er,” caught Liam’s attention, and he jerked his head upright. His breath caught in his throat as he noticed the gorgeous man standing in front of him, shuffling his feet nervously. Liam felt his face turn bright red. Hopefully this man wasn’t about to tell him off for staring. It wasn’t like it had been intentional, after all. Besides, someone this beautiful was probably used to people staring at them constantly. “Are you, um, Liam Payne, by any chance?”

“Oh.” Liam blinked slowly, his mouth falling open a bit. “Yeah. Yeah. That’s... That’s me. Liam Payne. Hi. Nice to meet you.”

The man’s lips twitched and he said, “Hi.”

Liam needed to stop looking at his lips. _Shit_. Fuck. He was making a fool of himself.

“I’m Zayn Malik,” the man continued, sinking into the seat across from Liam, his dark eyes watching Liam in such a calm way. “I’m the one who answered your Craigslist ad? About being your date to that New Year’s party and everything.”

Holy shit.

“Oh,” Liam said, blinking slowly.

Zayn cough a bit, running his fingers through his hair. “Do you start every sentence off with oh?” He questioned, snark biting through the words. A few years ago, the tone of the words might have alarmed Liam, but, now, it simply reminded him of Louis, and he snorted out a laugh, shrugging his shoulders at Zayn.

“I try not to, but I’m not always the best with words,” Liam said easily, giggling a bit to himself.

“Well, I’m glad to see some variation.” Zayn cracked a grin at him, his eyes twinkling. “Uh. I’m going to get myself a coffee but then we should probably talk about the party and our, er, cover story, I guess?”

Liam considered the words for a moment before he nodded carefully, his lips quirking up into a smile. “Cover story,” he agreed with a laugh. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll just wait here. Finish my fruit, maybe.”

 _Finish my fruit, maybe_. God, what was wrong with him? Why did he say dumb things like that?

Zayn laughed, his eyes crinkling up a bit in the corners. When his laughter had subsided he said, “Sure, you do that. I’ll be right back.”

The second Zayn was gone, Liam slumped back into his chair a bit. He was half tempted to get out his phone and text his group chat with Louis and Harry to ask for advice on what to do when the person who had agreed to fake date him for an evening was the most gorgeous human being he’d ever laid eyes on, but he also figured they’d both probably have shit advice to offer, as per usual.

When Zayn finally settled down into the seat across from him, Liam blinked slowly. “Did any of your friends try to convince you out of meeting someone from Craigslist?” He asked, the words bright and amused. “My friend kept trying to convince me that some axe murderer would apply to my ad and I’d end up dead before I even got to the party.”

Zayn’s lips quirked upwards and his eyes seemed to almost sparkle. “My best mate kept trying to tell me that you were probably some weirdo who thought the ad might help him get laid.”

“I promise that wasn’t my intention,” Liam blurted out, his eyes widening a bit. “I’m just. I keep showing up to this party every year by myself, and my ex-girlfriends are both there every year and it’s really embarrassing. I didn’t... I didn’t intend anything from this, I promise. It’s not- you know. I wouldn’t.”

“I know,” Zayn said, and smiled that wide smile that made his eyes crinkle again. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. Niall gets really protective and stuff. He only said it because he was worried I’d end up getting hurt. I haven’t dated anyone in a while, so I guess he thinks that this is a really bad idea? I don’t know.”

Liam relaxed, sagging back into his chair. He speared a piece of fruit, chewing on it carefully before he finally offered, “my friend Louis is the same way. He was really scared I was going to get too emotional or like... That you would end up being a criminal or something. He’s a bit... intense sometimes, but I love him to bits.”

“Is he going to be disappointed when I don’t actually end up murdering you?” Zayn asked, amusement coloring his tone, and Liam snorted.

“He’ll pretend to be,” he offered blandly after a moment, grinning so widely it almost hurts his cheeks. “I think he likes having me around most of the time, though, so he’ll probably be pleased.”

Zayn took another drink from his coffee, nodding seriously. The quirk at the corner of his lips was the only clue that the conversation was still teasing. After a long moment, however, he turned to Liam, brow furrowing a bit. “Okay,” he finally said, the joking tone entirely gone from his voice, “how do you want to do this?”

Liam blinked slowly. “Um... Do... What?”

For a long moment, Zayn just stared at him blankly before he said, “um... The party and us fake dating, Liam.”

“Oh!” Liam could feel himself turn red and he rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly, hoping to distract himself as much as possible. “Um. Okay. Well... We can maybe say that we’ve been together for a couple months or something and just... Go from there? We’ll probably just need to hold hands and act a little flirty and, um, kiss at midnight or something to convince everyone, but I don’t think they’ll ask too many questions.”

Zayn took another drink from his mug, humming quietly. “Just in case, though, shouldn’t we maybe figure out how we met or something? Or how we started dating?” Liam’s only response was to arch an eyebrow at Zayn, who snorted quietly, waving a hand around vaguely. “You know what I meant,” Zayn said, pressing a grin into the palm of his hand. “Don’t be an asshole, Liam.”

Instead of offering a reply, Liam just snickered, biting back a grin. “Okay, okay,” he finally agreed. “Maybe we can say we met at some shop or something.”

They were silent as Zayn took a sip from his mug, before he shrugged. “I’m at this bookshop downtown a lot. It’s kind of small, but they have this massive comic book section so I’m down there all the time.”

“Comic books?” Liam questioned slowly, his eyes widening a bit. A small started to grow on his lips. “Wait. Do you mean... Uh. Latitude, right?”

Zayn’s eyes went almost ridiculously wide, his mouth dropping open a few inches. It was kind of weirdly adorable, but Liam pushed that thought away before he could fully analyze what exactly it was leading to. Instead, he just focused back on Zayn as he spoke up. “You’ve been there too?”

“Latitude is amazing,” Liam gushed quietly, his expression brightening. “I can’t believe you know what it is.” Louis and Harry had adamantly refused to go to the place for forever- Louis on the grounds that he didn’t like bookstores (which was kind of bullshit, really, but Liam figured it was because Louis was trying to keep his street cred or something dumb) and Harry on the grounds that he and Liam reading the same books was rather unlikely. Liam, of course, would still keep trying to convince them about how amazing the shop was until he was blue in the face.

Zayn watched him quietly for a long moment, and just when Liam was about to question him because it was getting just a _tad_ bit weird, he just smiled softly and shrugged. “We can just say we met there, then? Like we started talking about comic books and then we kind of didn’t stop talking.”

“Okay,” Liam agreed. He was silent for a moment before he turned back to Zayn, his eyes narrowing. “You’ve got to tell me your favorite superhero, though. Because, you know. Logically, I’d already know that, right?”

Fuck. Liam was just really good at embarrassing himself, apparently. He couldn’t flirt to save his life.

Not that he was trying to flirt with Zayn or anything. Obviously.

(... Was he? _Shit._ )

The question seemed to amuse Zayn more than anything else, though, which was really quite relieving. Liam had just expected to get weird looks for it, especially considering how awkwardly he’d forced it out. Finally, though, Zayn just shrugged. “Marvel or DC?” He questioned, one of his seemingly perfectly sculpted eyebrows raising ever so slightly.

“Both,” Liam decided quickly, arching an eyebrow right back at Zayn.

Zayn hummed. He set his mug down on the table, uncrossing his arms and leaned in a bit closer, as if he were about to tell Liam some fantastic secret. Liam leaned in closer as well, unable to help but be drawn in towards Zayn. “DC-wise I’d have to say Superman. He’s just such a classic, you know?”

When Liam nodded, being as serious as possible, Zayn cracked a grin. It was beautiful, and a small part of Liam figured he could stare at Zayn all day. “Superman is good. Batman is better, though.”

A soft laugh escaped Zayn, and Liam maybe liked the way his eyes crinkled up just a bit too much. He also maybe noticed the little breathless huff that followed Zayn’s spurt of giggles and he was probably just paying too much attention in general, right now.

“I’m not going to argue with you right now. Later, maybe.” Zayn shrugged before offering, “my favorite Marvel superhero is probably Doctor Strange? He’s just really underrated, I think. And his character arc is awesome. Like, you know, it’s always cool to see characters with good morals, but sometimes it’s even nicer to see characters who are selfish and rude learn humility.”

_Oh. He’s perfect._

Liam blinked slowly. “Um... That was really quite profound.”

“Your turn,” Zayn said, a wide smile splitting across his face, and if Liam compared that smile to the way the sunlight felt on his skin after days of just rain than no one else would ever have to know, right?

“Ah.” Liam shrugged, nose wrinkling. “Well, personally, I’ve always been a big fan of the Hulk, actually.”

Zayn leaned forwards, his chin resting on his hand as he questioned, “really?”

Liam shrugged. Zayn’s face was really far too close to his, and he was trying to keep his insides from doing this weird twisty-melty dance. (He was failing kind of epicly.)

“Yeah.” Liam blinked, leaning back just a bit to finish off his coffee. Fuck. He forced the fluttery feeling inside of him to stop and turned his attention back to Zayn. “I just think there’s something really cool about him having so much power and strength and using it only when he has to, you know? He never wants to hurt anyone, but he’ll still do anything to protect the people he cares about. It’s just... Um. Really important, I think.”

He glanced over at Zayn, watching carefully as Zayn nodded seriously, considering his answer. Liam felt just the tiniest bit exposed, but he ignored it in favor of just staring back at Zayn, his expression careful.

“I like that,” Zayn said quietly, his eyes slipping closed. “It sounds so meaningful, when you say it like that.”

And, okay- well. That was maybe one of the nicest things that anyone had ever said to him.

Excepting maybe that one time a couple weeks ago when Louis and Harry had both complimented his abs.

Yeah, that had been a good day.

“Oh.” Liam blushed a bit, nose scrunching up. “Thank you,” he said softly. “I’m, um. I’m glad you think so.”

Zayn’s lips quirked, just a bit, the corners twitching upwards in a secret little smile. It felt like one of the most precious things Liam had ever seen, and he felt himself melt back into his chair, eyes wide. Holy shit. Okay. Zayn was even prettier when he smiled, then. Good to know.

Liam opened his mouth, likely to blurt out something idiotic. Panicking, he searched for something- anything- to say, but all that came out of his mouth was, “so, um. Do you know anybody going to this party or no?”

“Um.” Zayn blinked slowly, his head tilting to this side before he smiled. “Yeah, actually. Niall’s going. His girlfriend is friends with one of the people who's hosting it or something. I think. I don’t know.”

“Oh.” Flushing, Liam kicked his feet about a little, hoping to distract himself. “You weren’t just going to go with him?”

“Nah.” Zayn snorted. “I, er. Usually end up going to my ex-fiance’s party. Which is... Really awkward, but also slightly less awkward than being Niall and Barbara’s third wheel, I guess?”

That was something that Liam definitely couldn’t argue with. He also had far too much experience in playing the role of third wheel, and he was still unsure how to get himself out of that role. He loved Harry and Louis, of course, they were practically family, but sometimes they were just too much. _Way_ too much.

Liam nodded easily, smiling at Zayn. “I totally get it, trust me.”

There was a brief span of silence, both of them picking at their food. Liam used the moment to admire how pretty Zayn looked in the sunlight filtering in through the window, his eyes a gleaming kind of gold and his hair looking so soft and beautiful.

He was so fucked.

“Um, should we maybe meet up with Niall and Louis and Harry, then?” Liam questioned briefly. “Like... They’d all probably know each other through us, wouldn’t they?”

Zayn blinked, nodding seriously. “That’s a good idea. For sure. Um, just... I apologize for Niall’s behavior right now. He can be a bit... Over the top, I guess?”

“Louis’s like that too,” Liam offered on a laugh. “Don’t worry about it.”

Zayn laughed at that too, and Liam maybe zoned out while looking at his lips. Which was just really embarrassing and something he probably shouldn’t ever admit to anyone.

It wasn’t his fault that Zayn was unfairly beautiful, though, right?

“Um.” Liam blinked slowly before blurting out, “How’s your drink?”

Oh, fucking hell.

He shot a glance back up at Zayn, unsurprised when he saw the curious look of surprise and amusement on the other man’s face. “Um... It’s fine, thanks.”

“Great! That’s... That’s good, then.”

Liam was a fucking mess. He had to get out of here before he made a fool of himself.

Swallowing, Liam tapped at his phone, pretending to glance at the time.

“Everything okay?” Zayn asked easily. Everything about him seemed kind of easygoing, mostly just in the fact that he was gentle and encouraging and Liam kind of wanted to spend the rest of his life getting to know him, which was probably not a good feeling to have about someone he’d known for all of twenty minutes.

Liam blinked dumbly before shaking his head, startling himself out of his stupor. “Oh, yeah,” he assured briefly. “I just, um. I have to go kind of soon. I was wondering if you wanted to exchange numbers, though? Just to make this easier. And, erm, also so we can schedule a time for us to meet up with your friend Niall and Lou and Harry.”

“Oh, right. Of course,” Zayn agreed gently. “Sure thing, Liam.”

And okay, the situation might be utterly bizarre, but Liam walked home with the number of the prettiest boy he’d ever met programmed into his phone, so he was going to count today as a success.

_. . ._

“For the record,” Harry offered blandly, barely looking up from his chips as he spoke, “I still think you’re crazy for doing this. But if he’s as hot as you say he is then I totally don’t blame you at all.”

Liam blinked, turning to look at the couple that was seated across the table from him. Louis was currently curled around Harry as much as was acceptable in a public place, nibbling away at a sandwich that Liam was fairly certain Harry had ordered for himself. Harry didn’t seem to mind, though, considering he just kept staring all calmly at Liam, sipping away at his drink.

His friends were fucking weird Liam decided, not for the first time.

“Look.” Liam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I know you guys think this is insane, and I get it. I do. But I just need to get through today and the party, and everything will be fine.” Hopefully everything would be fine. Liam was being a bit too optimistic, but he couldn’t help himself. “Just... Please don’t be weird, okay?”

Louis scoffed, setting his sandwich down and pouting up at Liam. “Weird?” He repeated, “we’re never fucking weird, Liam, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

That didn’t even really deserve a response, honestly, because Louis was blatantly lying to his face and they were all aware of it, so Liam just arched his eyebrow and stared.

“Fine,” Louis said. Liam stared him down even more intensely as he went back to picking at the sandwich that Harry had given to him. “Fine, okay? I promise I’ll be all welcoming and shit.”

And maybe Liam’s shoulders did this weird sagging thing but it was only because he was relieved. Really. It didn’t mean anything other than that. It really, really didn’t.

“Lou.” Liam’s expression softened as he turned to his best friend. “Thank you.”

“We’re just worried about you, Li.” Harry’s voice was a bit gravely as he spoke up. He cleared his throat, shaking his head a bit, and offered, “we know how hard everything was for you after Sophia and neither of us want to see you like that ever again. Especially not Lou, because he’s an overprotective little punk who loves you almost as much as he loves me.”

If they were anything like normal people, Liam might have found that whole speech weird, but it wasn’t as if he hadn’t heard things like that from Harry before. Instead, he just snorted quietly, rolling his eyes fondly as Louis whined at Harry, picking up crumbs from his bread and throwing them in Harry’s direction.

They were disgustingly cute and Liam loved them all the more for it. He would just pretend to get mad about it, because he wasn’t about to let Louis and Harry know how much he adored them. That was a bit too sappy for this current moment in time.

“Liam!” A voice called out suddenly, and Liam perked up a bit, eyes darting to where Zayn was. He moved towards them easily, tugging a man- who must be Niall- with one of the most beautiful smiles Liam had ever seen along after him.

“Hey, Zayn,” Liam piped up, his voice all chirpy and happy and this was just- fuck. This whole thing was awkward, wasn’t it? He was too happy. He was making this awkward.

Just as Liam was about to punch himself in the face for being too enthusiastic, he heard Harry make a surprised little noise. So, rather than punching himself, Liam turned to look at his friend.

“Niall,” Harry greeted with ease. “Hey. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”

Niall’s eyes lit up, a wondrous kind of joy on his face as he slid onto the bench next to Harry. “Harry Styles, my man,” he greeted easily, nudging Harry with his shoulder. “Nice to see you again, mate.”

And- just- what the fuck?

“It’s good to see you again too,” Harry chirped, a smile brightening his face. “Missed you, Nialler.”

Zayn looked just about as alarmed as Liam felt, so Liam took it upon himself to figure out what, exactly, was happening right now. He finally just settled on inquiring, “um, Haz? You want to explain?”

Harry blinked slowly, turning to look at Liam. He took a moment to process the request, and then he just beamed, in usual Harry fashion. “Niall lived in Holmes Chapel for a bit,” he offered easily. “We, uh. We were pretty close friends and we actually texted a lot up through our first few years of Uni, and then I guess we just got really busy and it was just kind of too much, I guess.”

“Hazza and I know a lot about each other, though,” Niall assured the table, as if Liam truly cared about the depth of Niall’s Harry knowledge.

“Right,” Louis said blandly, looking a bit put out.

“Niall!” Harry brightened even more visibly. Liam turned to look at Zayn, trying to project a look that screamed _do you see what I deal with now?_

It was maybe successful, because Zayn pressed a hand to his mouth to muffle his laughter. Yeah, okay. Liam was going to count this as a success. He’d made Zayn giggle. It was going to be his accomplishment of the year, considering how the past almost twelve months had gone for him.

Liam tuned back into the conversation just in time to hear Harry babble, “um, right, so this is Lou. My Lou. My Louis.”

A grin overtook Niall’s face. “Louis,” he said, glancing between the couple. “You bagged him then, mate?” Louis spluttered, looking almost outraged (but also a bit smug) as Niall continued, “Harry talked about you all the fucking time. His crush on you was honestly painful.”

Liam decided to ignore them before the whole thing got even sappier and gross than it already seemed to be. “Hey,” he said, offering Zayn a smile. “How have you been?”

Zayn blinked at him for a brief moment before his lips melted into a brilliant, dazzling smile. Liam felt a little bit faint, but he pushed the feeling away to listen to Zayn speak. “I’ve been good. Got some new comic books, did some art. You know. Cool stuff.”

“That's good. That's really good.” Liam smiled, his eyes crinkling a bit as he tried to think of something, anything, else to say.

God, he was so bad at this. No wonder he was single.

Zayn was staring at him awkwardly, now, and Liam realized he'd been silent for far too long. Shit.

Liam was floundering for words- words, fuck, what were words what the fuck was he supposed to do right now?- when Niall suddenly piped up from across the table with a, “so! Liam. Mate.”

Liam glanced upwards, panic registering somewhere within him. “Niall,” he said carefully. “Hi. Um, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Hmmm,” Niall agreed blandly. “So. My lovely friend Zayn here is doing you a massive favor, which means you better be kind to him, alright?”

The threat was kind of empty, mostly meaningless, but the look on Niall’s face was stone-cold and serious, and Liam chuckled nervously, glancing warily around the table.

Louis snorted, fighting back a smirk, and Harry looked the be in about the same state.

Some friends they were.

“I wouldn't dare.” Liam turned to Niall with wide eyes, hoping to convey some sense of earnestness.

Niall stared at him for a long moment, and Liam hoped that whatever he was seeing he wasn’t judging too harshly. Liam was kind of a mess, and he figured that much, at least, was obvious. It wasn’t like he’d ever hurt Zayn, though- god, it wasn’t like he and Zayn were actually dating, even- so it wasn’t as if Niall had anything to worry about.

Niall clicked his tongue, his eyes slipping into a glare before he nodded, lips pursed. “Fine, then. You’re okay. But I’m still going to keep my eye on you, Liam.”

 _Okay,_ Liam decided a bit dazedly. _Niall was really quite scary when he wanted to be. Good to know._

“Alright then,” Liam offered, a nervous laugh leaving him. “Why don’t we all just... Erm... Settle down and get some food or something?”

The words were dumb- which was really quite unsurprising as Liam managed to make himself sound dumb quite a lot- but they got Niall to stop glaring at him (which made Zayn smile), and that was all that really mattered.

_. . ._

Liam didn’t think he’d ever been this nervous for anything in his life. There was this awful twisting feeling in the pit of his stomach that wouldn’t stop, and he kept bouncing on the tip of his toes and squirming around-- doing a bizarre little dance that Louis had once so eloquently told him looked almost exactly like Ernest’s _I need to go to the bathroom dance._

Which, you know. Was just a nice thought. He looked like a three year old who needed to go to the bathroom.

Brilliant.

“Hey,” Zayn offered, and Liam turned around to stare at him, worrying his bottom lip nervously. “Calm down, yeah? There’s no way we’re going to be able to pass this off if you keep freaking out and... doing that dance.”

Liam blinked slowly, and before his brain could even process the words he offered, “Louis says that dance makes me look like his three year old brother when he has to go to the bathroom.”

Fuck. Why did he keep saying these dumb things? What the hell?

Zayn snorted quietly, pressing his laughter into the palm of his hand.

Oh. Well. That was okay, then.

“He’s not wrong,” Zayn offered, and- yeah. Zayn was definitely smirking at him, and it was definitely way hotter than Liam had expected it to be. Shit. Okay. Liam was just about to come up with some witty retort- obviously, right, because Liam was witty as fuck- when Zayn turned to him with a bright smile. “Okay,” Zayn said. “We should probably hold hands or something. You know, just in case.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah, of course.” Liam swallowed, fighting back his nerves, and turned, offering his hand to Zayn with an easy smile.

He decided rather quickly after Zayn accepted the offered hand that he was enjoying the feeling of Zayn’s hand within his own far too much.

This was going to be problematic.

Liam didn’t really have time to think about that, however, before Zayn was dragging him into the party, close on the heels of Louis and Harry and Niall and his girlfriend. The nerves in his stomach twisted together until all Liam could focus on was holding himself together and not giving their act away, if that was at all possible.

After all, if either of them were to spoil this whole thing it would probably be him.

He was really bad with secrets, generally, so why he’d actually gone through with this whole thing he still wasn’t entirely sure.

“Okay,” Liam breathed out. “Okay. Okay.”

Zayn threw a glance his direction before snorting with laughter. “Calm down, Liam.”

Liam blinked, offering a sheepish smile as he replied, “Sorry. I’m really bad at staying calm. I’m kind of a worrier, if you hadn’t already noticed.”

“Trust me.” Zayn snorted, but his expression was still fond, and that was all that really mattered. “I noticed.”

He gave Zayn another awkwardly sheepish smile before he decided that his best bet was to just move, so he dragged Zayn along with him, moving further into the crowd of people already present.

Of course, because Liam had the worst luck of anyone in the world, only two minutes had passed before a voice caused his movements to halt.

“Liam!”

He winced, clenching his hand around Zayn’s tightly. He was so alarmed, in that moment, that he couldn’t even bother to process that he was crushing this poor man’s hand.

Because, of course, Sophia would find him ten minutes into the party.

“Soph, hey!” Liam laughed nervously, his eyes darting quickly to Zayn before he forced himself to focus on Sophia. “How are you?”

Sophia brightened visibly, her grin widening. “I’m good, thanks. It’s really good to see you, Liam.”

Yeah, that was probably a lie, but Liam wasn’t about to call her out on that.

“Sorry,” a voice suddenly piped up. Liam turned his head sharply to peer at Zayn. He’d kind of forgotten that he was there, which was really quite dumb of him, but it couldn’t be helped. “You’re Sophia, right? Liam’s talked about you a lot.”

Sophia stiffened a bit, her brow furrowing. “Um. Sorry. Who are you?”

“Oh.” Liam twitched, trying to act natural. Zayn was giving him a rather intense stare, and normally it would terrify him, but, at the moment, it kept him grounded, so Liam found himself thankful for the look, even if it did verge on creepy. “Sorry. That was so rude of me. Um. Sophia, this is my boyfriend Zayn.”

“Your...” Sophia trailed off, her eyes narrowing. She pursed her lips. “Your boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” Zayn spoke up again. A hint of a smirk tugged at his lips, and Liam honestly found everything about him too attractive. Fucking hell. “For about five months now, actually.”

The words seemed to throw Sophia again, and she stared at the two of them for a long moment, her mouth hanging open just a bit. “Um... Five months?” She repeated, the words almost getting stuck in her throat.

Liam nodded, giving her a sheepish grin. Fuck, he was so bad at lying. This was going to be shit. “Five months,” he agreed. “It feels like it’s been longer, though.”

Zayn snorted, rolling his eyes. “Don’t be that sappy dickhead, babe. It’s not necessary.” There was a teasing glint to his eyes, suddenly. “I know you love me.”

“Y-Yeah,” Liam stuttered, laughing and shrugging. “Of course I love you, you idiot.”

They’d never talked about this, in all of their planning, and Liam felt his hands twitch nervously.

“You’d better,” Zayn returned softly, and he sounded so genuine that Liam felt a bit like crying because- well. His crush on Zayn was maybe a bit ridiculous, at this point, but there wasn’t much he could do to make it go away. Liam wasn't sure he wanted to make it go away.

So he just shrugged, wrinkling his nose. “You dumbass. Of course I do.”

Sophia cleared her throat, the noise loud enough to completely spoil any moment that he and Zayn were having. (Did it really qualify as _A Moment?_ Liam wasn't entirely sure.)

“Okay then,” Sophia replied breezily, pursing her lips. She looked rather put out, and Liam decided that this whole situation had gotten very uncomfortable very quickly. It was... Satisfying, in a way, but also a bit strange. Liam felt a bit disjointed and odd, but there was still a sense of vindictive pleasure in the pit of his stomach.

Liam wasn’t really sure if he enjoyed the feeling or not, but it was there none the less.

“We’ll see you around,” Zayn chirped, beaming happily at Sophia. She made a face in return, forcing a smile at the two of them, before she turned on her heel and wandered off, disappearing further into the house.

“Well.” Liam shot a glance at her retreating figure, his lips twisting into a grimace. “That was... Unpleasant, but she seemed to believe us, right?”

There was a brief silence in which Zayn just stared at him, his expression a bit blank, before he smile brightly and offered a, “oh, yeah, she totally did.” The sentiment seemed a bit disjointed, but it made Liam’s shoulders sag in relief anyways.

“Well, um, what should we do now, then?” Liam asked carefully. They had a few hours left together, before this party ended. Liam knew that he wanted to spend as much of that time with Zayn as possible.

His crush on Zayn was very inconvenient at this point. And he was going to end up making a fool of himself. It was inevitable. “I guess we should, um, mingle?” Zayn offered. “You know... Act like a cute couple, kiss at midnight, flirt a bit, maybe dance. You know. Erm. Normal couple things.”

That made sense. Right. Obviously.

“Of course!” Liam said, his eyes widening. Fuck. What was he supposed to do now? “Um.” He paused, floundering a bit. “Would you like to get drinks and snacks, maybe? Or some of those horribly tacky party hats?”

A delicate laugh was all that his words were given. “How about all three?”

And, yeah. As long as it kept Zayn smiling and laughing like that, then Liam decided that he was perfectly okay with wearing some awful party hat.

It was worth it.

_. . ._

Everything was going beautifully.

Really. It was.

Liam was rather surprised by the fact that he hadn’t fucked up too badly yet, but it was probably due to the fact that Zayn was just so... charming? Any of Liam’s awkward mannerisms or awkward slip-ups- which happened quite often, all things considered- were met with Zayn’s calm and delicate charm. He would grin and flatter anyone who Liam had managed to slightly offend with his confused statements.

And it was _incredible._

In fact, Liam was kind of in awe of Zayn everytime he spoke.

Really, he was more than happy to completely lose himself in the fantasy that everything about tonight was real for the both of them, and he was well on his way to doing so before Louis came up to him, slinging his arm across his shoulder.

Fucking hell.

“Lou,” Liam offered dryly. “Can I help you?”

Louis pursed his lips, staring intensely at Liam, and then said, “as your concerned best friend, I think I deserve to know whether or not you plan to kiss Zayn tonight, babes.”

“Um.” Liam frowned, glancing over his shoulder. Zayn was distracted, deep in conversation with a friend of a friend that he vaguely recognized, but Harry and Niall were nowhere to be seen, which was a bit worrying. “I think we were planning on that, yes. I don’t know why it’s really your business, though.”

“You know why it is.” Louis pouted up at him. “You’re my best mate, Li. I love you a whole fucking lot, and the last thing I want is to see you hurt. You know that.”

And, yes, Louis could be ridiculous and a mess, but Liam knew that what he was saying now was nothing but the truth. “I do,” he agreed.

“Can you kiss him and let him walk away with getting hurt?”

Just as Liam was realizing he didn’t really have an answer for that all too insightful question, nor the way Louis’s eyes were boring into him and demanding an answer, Louis was flouncing off in the direction of the snack table, jumping on Harry’s back as he reached him and yelling something about stealing all the food so no one else could have any of it.

Fuck.

Liam hated when Louis saw through him like that. Because, in all honesty, Liam didn’t think he could kiss Zayn and just let go of him without it hurting. He was too attached now, which hadn’t been the goal of this whole situation, but it seemed that there was no stopping himself now.

His eyes moved towards Zayn hesitantly, locking on the other man’s gaze just as Zayn seemed to be looking up to smile at him. So, because he was pathetic, Liam moved towards his pretend boyfriend, offering him a small smile and a new glass of champagne.

“Thanks!” Zayn beamed up at him, before he glanced around and lowered his voice a bit. He was a little tipsy, at this point, and it was kind of adorable. “It’s almost midnight, Liam.”

A funny feeling grasped at Liam’s throat. “Yeah, I know.”

“Are we going to do it, then?” Zayn looked so serious, so determined, and Liam knew that they had to do this. Not only to get Zayn to calm down and smile again, but also so Sophia would really believe their whole act.

She’d been lurking around all night, and Liam wasn’t about to let her best him, even his relationship with her was still amicable enough. He was allowed to feel as if he had something to prove, right?

Liam gave the other man a slight glance, watching him carefully before he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do it.”

Zayn smiled at him, then, and the knot of nerves in Liam’s stomach tightened to the point that he almost felt physically ill.

This was all too much.

Zayn leaned into him, then, hanging off him, and Liam decided that, yes, this whole night was far too much for him.

Why did he even think this would be a good idea in the first place?

“Come on,” Zayn said easily, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the large group of people standing by the television.

Liam glanced quickly up at the countdown and sighed. “Five minutes left,” he offered quietly, and Zayn shrugged, taking another sip of his champagne.

It took a few seconds of silence, but Zayn seemed to notice how tense he was, and he reached out, his fingers drifting against the inside of Liam’s wrist. “Hey.” Zayn smiled at him, and Liam kind of forgot how to think for a second. “Just breathe, babe. It’s all going to be okay.”

Somehow, the words helped and really didn’t help at all, all at the same time.

He let out a puff of air anyways, eyes slipping closed.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Okay.”

Liam didn’t say anything else after that, and they let themselves be silent- it was a peaceful silence, though, not tense or anything, which was rather relieving- until the countdown started. Liam shot a nervous glance over his shoulder, and found his eyes locking on Sophia, who happened to be standing rather close to them.

And she was definitely watching him. Fuck.

Liam inhaled sharply, turning back to Zayn. He was fucking determined, okay? He was going to make this as convincing as he possibly could.

And, yes, his stomach was twisted into a million knots and he felt vaguely ill, but Zayn was standing there looking up at him with that gentle smile of his, and Liam felt something settle within the cavity of his chest.

Fuck it all. Why not, right?

So, as the people around them continued to yell out the countdown to the new year, Liam snagged an arm around Zayn’s waist, gripping him closer. Zayn look a bit surprised by the gesture, but he smiled nonetheless and locked his arms around Liam’s neck.

When the people around them shouted out zero, Liam swallowed his nerves, leaned in, and pressed his lips up against Zayn’s.

And nothing had ever felt more lovely.

_. . ._

The problem was, now, was that Liam was a tad bit drunk. Which was going to blame entirely on Louis Tomlinson, because that was the sort of friend Louis was, and everyone was well aware of that.

The biggest part of this problem, of course, was that he had somehow managed to lose Zayn in the crowd and, in his search for his fake-boyfriend, had been cornered by Sophia. She was trying to talk to him, was talking _at_ him, really, but Liam couldn’t focus on her.

He just wanted to find Zayn.

It was two in the morning, Liam was on his way towards drunk, his veins warm with the alcohol in his bloodstream, and all Liam wanted was to kiss Zayn again.

He was a tad bit pathetic, wasn’t he?

“Sophia,” Liam interrupted, holding his hand up. “Have you seen Zayn around?”

Sophia stopped, her mouth dropping open a bit, brow furrowing. “Zayn?” She repeated, her nose wrinkling. “Why do you... But. Liam.”

Yeah, Liam had had enough of this.

“I’ll see you around, Sophia,” Liam said, shrugging, before he turned on his heel and moved out of the room.

Where the fuck was Zayn?

Whirling around, Liam searched the room, but- of course- Zayn was nowhere to be found. Instead, Liam got an eyeful of Louis and Harry cuddled up on the couch snogging, which was both adorable and gross. Just as he was about to approach them, at his own risk, and ask if they knew where Zayn was, someone was leaping at his back, yanking on his shirt.

“Liam fucking Payne.”

Liam turned, brow furrowing. “Niall. Um, hi?”

“I’m angry at you,” Niall declared wildly, his eyes narrowing into a glare as he frowned at Liam.

That was a bit concerning.

“Um.” Liam coughed, biting at his bottom lip. “Want to tell me why?”

Niall didn’t answer, just glowered at him. Liam was about to question him again when the other man finally declared, “I told you not to hurt Zayn and look what you fucking did, mate. Can’t even believe you.”

And- what?

“Zayn?” Liam repeated dumbly. “Niall, do you know where he is? He disappeared and I’ve been trying to find him for the past, um. While.”

Niall frowned, pointing a finger at him. “Um, fuck no, mate. You hurt him. He’s leaving because you went and got all flirty with your ex-girlfriend again. And that’s like... Just not okay, mate.”

“Um.” This whole thing was just really confusing, because Liam had no idea what was happening anymore. “What are you talking about?”

The look Niall gave him just said, _you should know_.

Liam was even more confused than he’d been earlier tonight, and that was really saying something, because he hadn’t thought that was possible at all.

“No, I mean. Um. Sophia was trying to talk to me again earlier, but I just wanted to find Zayn because he disappeared and I kind of really want to kiss him, Niall. Because like he’s really pretty but I also like him a whole bloody lot and he’s so amazing and I just want to know where he went, Niall, because I really want to talk to him and I-”

Niall snorted, cutting off Liam’s long winded rambling. “You really mean that, Payno? You want to take good care of my boy?”

Liam almost said _with great pleasure_ , but he figured that was rather cheesy, so instead he just said, “Yes. I’d love to.”

“Well.” Niall watched him for what felt like far too long, and the look that he was receiving had knots twisting in his stomach. Finally, Niall just shrugged. “You better run outside and stop him before he gets too far away, then.”

And, really, those words were all Liam needed before he was out of the house and in the street. He hoped a bit awkwardly, still in the process of slipping into his shoes and yanking his jacket on, as he looked around for Zayn.

Fuck, where had he gone?

Liam, in almost a panic, set off down the street. Zayn couldn’t have left yet, right?

The sense of relief that overwhelmed him when he turned the corner and saw Zayn leaning up against the nearest building was a bit overwhelming and only slightly ridiculous. It was okay, though. Everything was going to be okay, because Zayn was right there and that was all Liam needed, really.

“Zayn!” Liam called out, rushing forwards to grab at Zayn’s hand. Zayn startled at the contact, but didn’t move or even bother to react other than that.

So, he watched silently as Zayn huffed out a few sighs, his breath fogging up in the chilly air around them, and almost actually breathed out a sigh of relief as Zayn finally turned to look at him. He was so fucking beautiful that it made Liam kind of want to cry.

“Yes?” He questioned softly, arching an eyebrow, nose wrinkling.

Liam coughed, shrugging a bit. “Um.” Shit, he was so bad at this. “Um. So. I. Uh. I know you saw that whole thing with Sophia earlier, and I just wanted to let you know that, erm. Nothing is happening there and nothing will happen there ever again.” Zayn looked a bit surprised by that but there was something else in his face, though, something almost hopeful, so Liam raised his hand, signaling that he still had something to say before he lost his nerve entirely. “And, um, I was wondering it it would it be okay if I... If I called you and asked you on a date for next week?”

They were so still, so silent, that Liam was just about to start panicking about being rejected. He hadn’t thought Zayn would actually... He had seemed just as besotted with Liam as Liam was with him, after all. He’d bloody run away when he’d noticed Sophia and Liam talking. The nerves begun to twist inside of him, tying his stomach up into a million knots. However, that was when Zayn finally smiled at him, that beautiful smile that Liam figured would always make him a bit faint at the knees.

“A date?” Zayn repeated, laughing softly. “Yeah, Liam. I think that sounds okay. Better than okay, even.”

Liam could barely contain his smile. “Good,” he said. “That’s... That’s great.”

And as he leaned forwards to kiss Zayn just because he liked the taste of Zayn’s lips against his own, Liam decided this whole thing was more than the awful disaster Louis had thought it would be, more than the great they'd just agreed on, even.

It was perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave kudos or a comment, they mean the world to me.


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